Wednesday Will-isms

Since I've been away from the blogging world for a while, I wanted to share some of the funny things that Will has said over the past few weeks:

"Mama, are dinosaurs bigger than....(here I think he's going to say something that might be comparable to a dinosaur, like a house, bus, tree, etc)...a beaver?"
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"Mama, why doesn't Julia have any jeans? She needs some so she can be a cowgirl."
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"Awww...it's time to get ready for school already? I didn't even get to have my shark battle!"
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Julia's really into animal noises, so one day we were going through what sounds all of the animals make. I jokingly asked Will what a shark says, to which he quickly replied, "Duh-nun. Duh-nun. Duh-nun" (aka, the theme song from Jaws). Where he came up with that, I will never know!

Wednesday Will-isms

Last week, I spent some time actually making a pretty good meal for dinner. We had chicken Parmesan with Parmesan grits (yes, we like some cheese around these parts) and a salad. It took a little while to prepare, and I was proud of myself that I had made the effort and that it was good. Both of the kids ate it up (a miracle), and everyone seemed to enjoy the meal. To top off a lovely dinner, Zach had gotten some slice-and-bake peanut butter cookies from the store, so while we were finishing eating, he went and put the cookies in the oven, and then delivered them to the table. Remember, these are slice-and-bake, which means they took all of 5 seconds for him to prepare.

Zach brings the cookies to the table, and Will looks up at him admiringly and declares, "Daddy! You are such a chef!"

Really? He gets called a chef for his prepared cookies and the meal I made from scratch doesn't even get a mention? Sounds about right--Mamas never get much credit!

Wednesday Will-isms: Jackson Bo

Who is this, you ask? Why, this is Jackson Bo! Jackson Bo is Will's alter rockstar ego. Anytime he "plays rockstar" his name is Jackson Bo. And no, we don't know where that came from. In order to further his career as Jackson Bo, he's requested a stand-up microphone for Christmas, so he can sing AND play the guitar. He also wants either me or Zach to get a guitar for Christmas, so we can "rock out".

Luckily, Jackson Bo already has something that every rockstar needs: a groupie.

Wednesday Will-isms

I was recently explaining the concept of "morning breath" to Will...why, I'm not exactly sure, but it came up somehow. So, I told him how it meant that after you were sleeping all night long, your breath didn't smell very good in the morning.

The other night, I was doing some work in the office after I put Julia to bed. Zach was getting Will to bed, and I went in to say goodnight. As I leaned over him to give him a kiss, Will declared, "Mama, you have working breath!" I guess some teeth-brushing was in order.

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Almost every morning, Will comes into our room when he wakes up. And, from the moment he wakes up, he is talking (or singing--sometimes we start the morning with him serenading us with his guitar and a song). So, one day he comes in blabbering away, then momentarily takes a breath and says, "I am a TALKER. I love to talk. That's just the way God made me!"

I couldn't argue with him.

On a related note, I asked him if he ever gets in trouble at school, and he said yes, for talking. He told me he likes to talk all of the time, and this gets him in trouble during story time. Again, not surprising.

Wednesday Will-isms

I've been saving up a couple of Wednesday Will-isms during my blogging break, so here they are:

One day, Will was playing with something that I didn't want him to mess with...I don't even remember exactly what it was, but it was something small, like paperclips, and I just didn't want him to play with it. I told him, "Will, don't mess with those things."
"Why, Mama? Are they expensive?"
Well, whatever it was was certainly not expensive, and I told him so. "Will, do you know what expensive means?"
"Yes, I do. It means something that is only for grown-ups."

Strangely enough, he's not too far off!
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When we went to Ohio, Will immediately took to his older cousin, Henry, who is about eight. Henry was so sweet to Will and very patient with him, and they had a great time playing together. The first night we were there, Margaret (Henry's mom) and I were discussing where everyone would sleep. Will overheard us and piped up with, "I need to sleep in the room with Henry because he's my best friend."

I love how, when you're a child, a best friendship can be formed in four hours and over a mutual love of swing sets and trains.

Wednesday Will-isms

Lately Will has been very interested in marriage. The only problem is that he wants to marry me. Now, I know this is completely common, and I'm not worried about it, I'm just having a hard time convincing Will that he won't want to marry me when he gets older! The other morning, after discussing it for a while, he pleaded, "Please can I marry you, Mommy? It's okay to marry someone who's already married." While I explained polygamy to him (not really), I realized that what he wanted was to just be reassured that he would still be able to come see us and visit us....so sweet. Good thing I'm writing this down so I'll have written proof that, at one point in his life, he considered Mommy and Daddy the finest people on earth.

Later in the day, Will came up with a new plan: "I'll marry Julia!"

Clearly he doesn't have a grasp on this whole concept yet.

Wednesday Will-isms

Apparently I need to step it up in terms of my wardrobe. Admittedly, I often wear work-out clothes because A) I work from home and B) I actually work out at lunch at least a couple of days a week. The other day, I happened to be wearing "real" clothes--nothing fancy, just capris and a sleeveless shirt--but it wasn't work out gear. When Will saw me, he immediately looked concerned and surprised.

"Mama, why are you wearing those clothes?"
"What's wrong with these clothes, Will?"
"Nothing, but are you going somewhere? You look like you're going to a meeting." (A "meeting" is what we call any sort of going out--we learned early on that if we told Will we were going to a party or out to dinner, then he would want to come.)

So it seems that me in anything other than work-out clothes confuses Will. I guess I'm not setting very high standards!

Wednesday Will-isms

The other night I took Will to Yogurt Mountain as a special after dinner treat. As usual, he came up with the most disgusting combo you could think of: watermelon sorbet, raspberry yogurt, birthday cake yogurt, and  peanut butter yogurt all topped with Lucky Charms, gummy bears, sprinkles, and chocolate sauce. Dis-gust-ing. (I am not making this up. This is the exact combo that he ate.) Of course, he LOVED it. At one point, I looked into his bowl, and my face must have said it all:
"Oh Will, that looks..." (I trailed off, at a loss for words)
"Looks kind of yucky?"
"Well, yes. It does look kind of yucky."
"No it doesn't, Mama...it looks like a birthday party!"

I just had to laugh, because it did look like a birthday party. Or rather, the aftermath of a birthday party where fifteen toddlers had run through a house, leaving decorations, food, and wrapping paper in their wake. It did look exactly like that kind of birthday party.

Wednesday Will-isms: Charlottesville

We were in Charlottesville this past weekend for our ten-year college reunion (a whole other post is needed for that), and apparently all of the traveling wore Will out. We left on Wednesday and came back on Monday, so it was a pretty long time for us to be gone...especially in the mind of a three-year-old. Around Sunday, Will looked at me and told me, "Whew, I just can't hold my breath in Charlottesville." I was a bit confused by this and said, "You mean catch your breath?" Will replied, "Yeah, I just can't catch my breath!" I can see where playing all day and being spoiled by grandparents would do that to a boy.

Later, Will asked me when we were going home. I told him, and asked why he wanted to know.
"Because I don't even remember what our house looks like, Mama!"

Oh, the trials of being on a vacation when you are three!

Wednesday Will-isms

This weekend, Julia was trying to get in the chair that Will was already sitting in. He looked at her, held up one finger, and in his most serious voice, says, "Don't start, Julia. Just don't start."

At least I know he hears me some of the time!

Wednesday Will-isms

This weekend, a storm blew over this little set of cactus plants that Will was working on. He seemed a bit disappointed, so I tried to make it up to him by letting him know that we could get some new pots and plant something new. I told him, "Maybe we'll even get some seeds and grow our own vegetables!"

Will thought about this for a minute and concluded, "I don't want to grow vegetables...I want to grow hamburgers!"

I like the way he thinks.

Wednesday Will-isms

While getting ready for school one day:
Will saw Zach without his shirt on and just had to comment: "Daddy! You are so furry! You are like a bear you are so furry. You even have hair in your armpits!" Will found this whole thing to be absolutely hilarious. I don't know why he hasn't commented on this before, because he's seen Zach without a shirt plenty of times. The funny thing is, Zach isn't even very hairy!
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While driving home from school one day:
"Mama, your car doesn't go as fast as Daddy's."
"Yes, Will, it can go as fast as Daddy's, I'm just not driving it as fast."
"That's cuz YOU know the rules, Mama."

Wednesday Will-isms: Infinity

We have this crazy kids CD by They Might Be Giants. The songs are really creative, but a little on the weird side, and they're all about numbers. Will's new favorite is a song about infinity. Now, whoever thought it was a good idea to put a song about infinity on a kids CD needs to come to my house where they will be promptly buried in questions:

Will: "Are there more sidewalk squares than infinity?"
Me: "No, Will...infinity is the biggest number ever. Nothing is bigger than infinity."
Will: "Is that branch bigger than infinity? What about that tree? (Continues for a really long time asking whether different items are bigger than infinity. I attempt to be patient and continue to tell him that no, our house is not bigger than infinity.)
Will: "All the way up to heaven is bigger than infinity."
Me: "Well, okay. 'All the way up to heaven' might be the definition of infinity."
Will: "So, how can I get to infinity? Can you use a ladder? A rope?"

I guess I can't really blame him that he hasn't mastered this philosophical concept yet. After all, he's only three. But when he turns four, I'm not cutting him any more slack.

Wednesday Will-isms: Loey

"Mama, Mama! Guess what? I found a ladybug on our porch. I've been playing with him. I named him Loey." (Rhymes with Joey...not sure on the spelling. I also love that the ladybug is a 'him', per Will.)

A few hours later...
"Mama! Loey is still there. I'm going to hold him. See? See? Come look, Mama! See the way he crawls on my hand?"
"Will, I don't know that ladybugs really like to be held too much. It might scare him. Don't hurt him."
"Loey likes to be held, Mama. I'm not hurting him. I love him."

Later that night, Will checks on Loey and then gently leaves him on the table on the porch.

The next day, on the way to school...
"Will, this week you're talking about pets at school. Do many of your friends have pets, like dogs and cats?"
"Yes, some people have dogs and cats. Luke A. has a dog named Bosco."
"Oh really? Do you think you would ever want a pet?"
"Mama! I have a pet!"
"You do?"
"Yes...Loey!"

That night, Will discovers that Loey no longer resides on our porch.
"Mama, Loey is gone. Why do you think he left?" (said VERY sadly)
"Well, baby, I think he just went on a different adventure. Maybe he went to find some other ladybugs."
"Do you think Loey left because I held him too much? Do you think he didn't want to be held and he got scared?"
"Oh no, baby! You didn't do anything wrong. Ladybugs just like to fly, so I think Loey just flew away somewhere else."
"I miss Loey. I want him to come back."

The next day...
"Mama, I prayed to God that Loey would come back. I prayed to God about him, Mama."

That was several days ago, and we haven't heard anything about Loey since. It was an intense, but short-lived love affair. Poor kid needs a real pet. (Not that I'm offering.)

Wednesday Will-isms

Will had lots of comments this week. Then again, he always has lots of comments because he does not stop talking. Ever. Anyway, here are a few of my favorites:

Will on...nicknames:
Me, to Julia: "Come here bud, let's put on your shoes."
Will: "Mama! I am bud. She is sweetie."

Me, to Julia another time: "Julia, you look cool with your sunglasses on!"
Will: "Mama, she does not look 'cool'. She looks pretty."
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Will on...religion:
"Mama, does God have a body?"
"Does Jesus have a body?"
"When I go to heaven, will I have a body? Will I ever get hurt in heaven?"
(All of the above accompanied by my feeble attempts at answers.)
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Prayers by Will:
"Dear God, when I grow up, please make me a red Power Ranger so that I can fight the bad guys. Please, God. Amen."

"Dear God, please don't let Daddy pass us because I want to be first and it's not safe to pass. Amen." (Said in the car when we were leaving for school one day and Zach was in his car.)

Wednesday Will-isms

Will on...poop.

Zach: "Will, you have to poop again? Does your tummy hurt?"

Will (exasperated, as usual): "Daddy, that's how it works. You eat food and it goes down your throat and into your body and then it comes out as poop. I just ate a cookie, so now I have to poop. See? That's how it works."

Wednesday Will-isms

"What are you doing, Will?"
"I was just coming in to say good night to Julia. But right now, I'm not saying good night. I'm being wild."
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"Mama, I like your shoes! Are those Sketchers?"

Um...what? How in the world does he know what Sketchers are?!

Wednesday Will-isms

The other night Will and Julia were taking a bath together, and Will was sitting in the front, next to the running water. My younger sister has vivid memories (which she has shared with me many times) of me always getting to sit in the front of the bathtub and always "hogging" the hot water. As an attempt to prevent Julia from being scarred for life like Melanie apparently was, I told Will that he and Julia were going to have to switch out. He could sit in the front for a while, then it would be Julia's turn. (As a side note, Julia LOVES sitting in the front because she loves to drink the water out of the tap...lapping it up like a little dog!)

I asked Will several times to switch with Julia, and he just wasn't listening. Finally, I moved him to the back of the bathtub. This greatly upset him, and he let me know why: "Sitting in the back hurts my feeeeeelings!"

Ah yes, the hurt feelings argument. Maybe we need to turn down the psycho-babble a bit over here at our house.
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Will's class has been learning about "community helpers" this month--doctors, teachers, firefighters, police, etc. On Friday, they have a chance to dress up as their favorite community helper for school. (Another side note--this is a completely annoying assignment because who really has a full police outfit for their child? And of course, my child won't tolerate just a police hat or accessories because he tells me that that's not what real policemen wear. SIGH.)

Anyway, I was asking Will what community helper he wanted to be--thinking that I best get to work creating a costume--and he first said he wanted to be a firefighter.

"Oh, that will be great, Will. You can wear a red shirt and your firefighter hat. That will be perfect."
"Hmm...no. I think I want to be a knight!"
"A knight? Have you talked about knights at school as part of community helpers?"
"Well, knights save people. That's HELPING."

As usual, I couldn't argue with him.

Wednesday Will-isms

Will has been learning about the days of the week at school. He knows some of the names, but definitely can't associate the names with actual days or keep track of time at all.

Each morning, Will asks me if we're going to school that day. On Saturday, I told him, "No, today is a day we stay home with our family. Do you remember what that day of the week is called?"

"Um, Home-day?"
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The other night, Will and Julia stayed at Hulie and Bubs' house overnight. Apparently, Will had a tough time going to sleep and kept coming downstairs to talk to Hulie. Finally, she told him something along the lines of "you need to get sleep so that you can grow up and be big and strong" so that he would hopefully go to bed.

Will's reply? "Hulie, sometimes I don't want to eat good food and get lots of sleep and do stuff to make me get big. Because when I get big, I have to grow up and not live with my Mama and Daddy anymore. And I don't want to not live with my parents so I don't want to get big."

Wednesday Will-isms

"Two more minutes, Will."
"Mama, if you say two more minutes and I say 'Four more minutes! or Five more minutes!' that's called pushing it."

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The other morning Will came and got in bed with us around 5 AM. We were skeptical that any of us would get any more sleep, but he actually went right back to dreamland. Around 6:15, Julia woke up and Zach went to get her. Around 6:45, Will woke up, and seeing that it was just him and me in the bed, leaned over and whispered, "Mama, you want some more time to sleep by yourself?"

Blissfully, I got to do just that. Will bounded out of bed and went to find Daddy, and they all let me sleep for another hour!