WHY?

I never thought one word would make me want to jump off a bridge, but it turns out, if you hear a word 3,000 times a day, it can have that effect on you. In the past few weeks, Will has entered the "why" phase, and it is about to drive everyone around him CRAZY! Things that you wouldn't think deserved a question now suddenly do. And unfortunately, "just because" is not a suitable answer to him. We've heard questions about everything:

"Why is that a car?"

"Why him drinking coffee?"

"Why I can't eat rice with my hands?"

Anything that you say to him is met with a 'WHY?'. Will, go wash your hands. "WHY?" Will, Julia doesn't like that. "WHY?" Will, let's go to the park. "WHY?" And, of course, any answer you give is met with another 'WHY?'. It's a wonder that I haven't run screaming from my house in the past few days.

I know this is the way that he learns, and I love that he is so curious, but really. It's got to stop. I can only come up with straightforward, yet creative, answers for so long. It seems that the way every chain of questions finally ends is "That's the way God made it." or "That's what we have to do right now." As of now, he's still accepting those as legitimate answers. If those stop working, I'll just leave him with Melanie and Bob, who will bore him with scientific explanations for everything. I'm not sure who would crack first.

**Speaking of Melanie...HAPPY BIRTHDAY today to my favorite sister!

Sick

As we like to say in my family, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Granted, no one has been majorly sick, for which I am thankful, but it seems that we all have had just enough to make us feel crappy. I think Julia's had a cold since Christmas (and I've taken her to the doctor twice and it's STILL JUST A VIRUS), and Will has a cough that he just can't kick. I've been in-the-bed sick the past two weekends: once with a sore throat/cough type thing, and then recently with the stomach bug. Luckily, no one else got the stomach bug...at least not yet.

So, we're just a barrel of laughs around the Mather household. Not sick enough to stay home from school/work or to go to the doctor, but just sick enough to be pitiful and not sleep so well. Hopefully this too shall pass with the coming of spring...hopefully sooner rather than later.

Five Months!

This is what sweet, adorable, five-monthness looks like:

I mean, look at those cheeks! I could just eat them up. My dad jokes that she looks like she is storing up for winter. And then there's the hair...I'm learning to accept that her hair just isn't her best feature, at least not now. You can't see this in the pictures (obviously), but she has a HUGE bald spot on the back of her head because she only likes to sleep and lay on her back. Will thinks it is hilarious and loves to say, "I want to kiss her little bald spot." Again, dad has some helpful suggestions on that...baby Rogaine or some spray-on hair before her baptism.

Lots of things have been happening for Julia in the last month...the spitting up and pooping have subsided (and actually gone the other way, but that's a whole other story), we have weaned her from the Miracle Blanket, which actually went pretty well, and she's growing and learning new things by the minute. She loves to chew on her hands, and she still loves her pacifier. She likes to hold (and chew on) little toys, and she loves batting at the toys on her bouncy and mobile. She can roll from her tummy to her back, when she wants to, but has made NO moves to roll from back to tummy. She's sleeping pretty well, but waking up very early to eat, and also sometimes waking up just to chat in the middle of the night. She's doing well at daycare and is a great napper (a fact that I've been worried to mention, for fear that just speaking of it will jinx us). She's still nursing well, but no solid foods yet--we'll probably start that in the next few weeks. She rarely cries and is just a sweet, content--but very BUSY--baby. She is always moving, particularly her little hands and arms, just like she did while in my belly. I love, love, love this stage of babyhood (although I wish we could get some improvement on the nighttime sleep, for both her and Will).

It's funny how little I remember about the stages and what they should be doing when. In some ways, I feel like I baby her too much ("It can't be time for her to do that yet! She's only five months!"), but in some ways, I expect too much. She's five months...shouldn't she be sitting up? (Um, no.) Do I need to worry that she's not rolling over both ways? (Again, no.) Do I need to move the mattress in her crib and take down her mobile already? (That one is probably a 'yes'.) I thought I'd have it more together with the second and know everything I needed to know, and in some ways, I do. But, she's a different baby than Will, a different person. So, I'm having to re-learn some things and come up with new ways for other things. As usual, we're just figuring it out as we go!

*Yes, I back-dated this post so that it would appear that I posted it on her actual five-month birthday and not four days later.

Bedtime Conversations

In continuing with the conversation theme, here are some conversations I've recently had with Will before he goes to bed:

"Night night little boy!"
"Night night big girl!"
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"I love you, Will."
"I love you first, Mama."
(We're not exactly sure what he means by this, but it's super cute.)
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"Mama, why are you so happy?"
"Well, I'm happy because of my family--you, Daddy, and baby Julia. Why are you so happy, Will?"
"Because I love you, Mama."

Conversations with Will

On the way to school:
"Mama, you like coffee?"
"No Will, Mama doesn't like to drink coffee."
"Mama, you like hot choooocolaaaate?"
"Yes, I like hot chocolate. Do you?"
"YES! Mama, you like hot chocolate from Starbucks?"

You can see where this was going. Such the negotiator. And no, we did not stop at Starbucks, despite his convincing attempt.
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About the circus:
"Will, did any of your friends go to the circus?"
"Yes, Abby go to circus. She saw elephants and the octopus."
"She saw an octopus at the circus?"
"Yes."
"Really? What did it look like?"
(At this point, he looks at me like like I am the dumbest person on the planet.)
"Um, an OCTOPUS."
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About anything at all: (Although, this is less of a conversation and more of a musing by Will.)
"If you step in dog poop, you will get dirty. I an engineer and I ride on the choo-choo train. I go on a meeting and a trip. Miles go on a trip on the airplane and he go to the meeting. And, remember the snow monster, Mama? Remember? The snow monster live by Knox. And, it not Halloween now, Mama? Mama? MAMA! Talk to me! Don't say 'um hmm' or 'yeah'. Mama, talk to me!"
The stream of consciousness pretty much continues ad infinitum.

China

So, Will and Julia have started taking a bath together on most nights (Julia in her seat in the tub). This makes my life much easier, but also invites a lot of questions. Will is very aware of his "parts" and wanted to know if baby Julia had the same parts. Finally, after incessant questions, we told him that no, baby Julia was a girl and thus had girl parts (we used the correct term, I'm just not using here to avoid any weird searchers; and by the way, why is everyone so squeamish about the girl word, but totally okay with the boy word?)

So, Will thinks about what he's learned and then repeats it back to us: "Baby Julia is a girl and she has a china."

Then, we get more questions: "Mama, YOU have a china?" Yes Will, I'm a girl. "Miss Melissa (his teacher at school) have a china?" Yes Will, but DON'T ASK HER ABOUT IT! That's just what we need...him asking his teachers about their "chinas"! We're actually a little bit thankful that he can't say the word exactly right.

Opinions

There are benefits to being the second child. Despite being somewhat overshadowed by her older brother (at least at this age), Julia benefits from the fact that we at least have SOME experience in child care. That being said, there are some things that we've done differently with Julia than we did with Will. Some things we learned from experience, and some things are different just because the children are different. So, here are some random thoughts on child-rearing and child products: things that we're doing differently with Julia, things that I swear by for both, and things that I think are overrated.

Things I've Done Differently with Julia (and would now recommend):

• 4D Ultrasound: We never had one with Will, but I loved doing it with Julia. The pictures we got then really look like her little face now.
• Miracle Blanket: Will hated being swaddled, but I think we just didn't try hard enough. Now I'm just worried that Julia will have to be swaddled even when she's 12. The Miracle Blanket has lived up to its name for us.
• Bathing: We just don't do it very often. Will got a bath almost every day as a baby; Julia is lucky if she gets one twice a week (although, now that she's in daycare it's much more frequent). Although it sounds like we're neglecting her, I really think it's a better approach. Her skin has been much better than Will's was. Plus, you don't have to deal with the hassle of a bath every day! (YAY laziness!)
• Solid foods: Again with the laziness. With Will, I was so excited to start solid foods, so we started at about 4.5 months. I now realize that it's just something else to deal with (and, oh yeah, my doctor thinks there's no reason to start early; in fact he'd recommend waiting until later). So as of now, I'm not planning on adding foods until around 6 months.
• Pictures on her birthday: I make sure to take a picture of Julia on the 8th of each month. I really wish I had done this with Will. Although we have tons of pictures of him, it is nice to have a picture each month, on the same day, in the same place.
• The Snap N Go: We used the Graco system with Will, but I borrowed a Snap N Go from a friend for Julia and it is fabulous! It is so lightweight and easy. Then, you can decide what kind of stroller you really want and need once your child outgrows the bucket seat.
• Worrying less: I feel like I am more "go with the flow" with Julia. With Will, I frantically read every baby book I could to try to figure out the exact right thing to do. Now, if something is working for us, I try not to worry about it. I'm trying to take the attitude that she will grow out of things as she doesn't need them anymore (like swaddling or the pacifier), so at this point, I really shouldn't worry about weaning her off of them.

Things I Swear By (and did with both children):

• The swing: For my children, there is nothing better. I'm not sure we could have survived without it.
• Breastfeeding as much as you can, supplementing if necessary: I love breastfeeding, but I've always had a bit of a supply problem (less so with Julia, who is not Enormo-baby). So, I give them what I can and then don't feel bad if they also need a bit of formula. With both kids, we've always given them a bottle of formula before bed, after they nurse (this is the only formula Julia gets), and both kids have always been reasonably good sleepers. Who knows if there is causation there, but I'm not going to mess with it!
• Reading: I think it's the best thing you can do for your child intellectually. I already read to Julia.
• Cheap bottles: We've always just used the regular Gerber or Medela bottles and nipples. I thought it was easier to try the cheap(er) bottles with fewer parts and see if they worked before I bought the expensive, complicated ones. The cheap ones worked for us!
• Zipper sleepers: SO MUCH EASIER when changing diapers at night.
• The Ultimate Crib Sheet: SO MUCH EASIER when changing sheets at night (or really anytime).

Things I Think are Overrated:

• Sleep positioners: At some point, you will buy anything that you think will help your child sleep. In times of great sleep deprivation, I have bought one of these for EACH of my children. I used it once or twice with Will, and NEVER with Julia. Ridiculous.
• Wipe Warmers: We never had one. It sounds like a silly baby gadget to me. Although, if I were the one getting wiped, I might be singing a different tune.
• The sling: I am sling incompetent. I know some people love, love, love these, but I have never gotten the hang of them. I'm going to try again with the hip carry for Julia, but I really wish I hadn't spent the money. We've used it about three times so far.
• Judging other Moms: Yes, there are certain things that are objectively bad decisions, but overall, I'm finally realizing that each mom has to do what's best for her family and what works for her child. There are plenty of things that I would never do with my children, but it might work great for someone else (aren't I so Zen?!). In reality, I struggle to keep this mindset, but I do intellectually believe that it's true.

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In other news, I have fixed the comments on the blog so that people can comment even if you don't have a Google account. I know that at least a couple of people are out there reading, so please leave a comment! If you're a mom, tell me what baby products you love or think are overrated.