Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Even though it's 5AM (or even 3:30), it's perfect. I watch her face in the half-light of her room as she's eating. Her eyes try so hard to stay open, but eventually succumb and close. She looks so peaceful. As she finishes eating, I bring her up to my shoulder, and she squirms and tosses and turns until she gets in just the right position and then sighs with complete contentment. I know I should put her in bed and go back to bed myself, but I can't resist rocking her just a few more minutes. During these nighttime feedings, we are free from distractions; free from the noise of the television, the phone, or her brother. I'm calm, not antsy to hurry up and finish feeding so we can move on to the next activity. So, even though it's the middle of the night, it really is perfect. I want to remember every thing about this--the way she looks, the way she smells, the coos and sounds that she makes. In some ways, I can't wait for the day when I can put her down at night and know that she will sleep all the way until morning. But, I know I will miss these special times, too. On one hand, these early days can't go quickly enough; but when they're gone, I know I will think they've gone too fast.